A Modern Mother has tagged me with “I bet you didn’t know”. I think I have to write a list of stuff you don’t know about me.
Having already been tagged for “26 things you didn’t know about me on Facebook“, I’ve had to dig deep and come up with some new stuff for this one. If I get more of these request I’ll have to start making things up like:
1. I’m not really a mother of three children. I am a middle aged man living a fantasy life via this blog.
2. I work the nightshift at McDonalds.
3. Dressing up as Ronald McDonald is strangely exciting.
5. I live with my mum even though I’m 52.
6. One of the perks of McDonalds is you get all the promotional toys before anyone else.
6. I have a passion for photography. I love taking pictures of children playing in the park.
Ok, ok, enough already. Here’s the real list. Yeah, er, the one below is the real me, er, for sure. xxx
1. I still have to do my brownie salute (behind my back), to tell my right hand from my left.
2. I have driven, coast to coast, across America three times.
3. David Cameron is really tall and unbelievably posh in real life.
4. For eight years I got up at 4am to meditate. These days, I meditate on getting up.
5. Even though it’s not what you’d call a amazing success, I love my life.
6. Yesterday I got a fine of £375 which I could have easily avoided.
7. I still love my life.
8. I really want to see the Northern Lights.
9. As children, my friends and I would step out in front of cars to see if the Green Cross Code Man would save us. I remember saying “Yeah, I nearly got killed today and he STILL didn’t show up”. I also remember my mum screaming at me for stopping in the road when a lorry was coming. Bastard Green Cross Code Man – it was just a job to him, he never really cared. No surprise he became the evil Darth Vader.
10. I met Lassie.
(She was a bitch in real life)
I’m tagging the following people with “I bet you didn’t know…” Anna at part mummy, part me, and the very talented Mel at Face and Body Art xxx
I’m tagging the following people with “I bet you didn’t know…” Anna at part mummy, part me, and the lovely Mel at Face and Body Art xxx
Seeing the Northern Lights is a dream of mine too.
Ok, ok, but it’s not all about yooou. What about what poor Blue wants?
(“Blue”, is Sandy’s very neglected dog, in case you don’t know).
I wrote I MET LASSIE for god’s sake. Show him the picture and see how excited he gets. Next thing you know, it’ll be “woof, woof” to your new house in Oxford. Cos he’ll have his eyes set on a Hollywood kennel for two.
(You can have my cat if you want)
You met Lassie AND David Cameron? Amazing. Northern Lights is on my wish list too, joint equal with whale watching. Could be an interesting girlie holiday…?
Especially if Lassie and David C. come.
Lassie: “Woof, woof, woof”
Me: “Lassie says David’s stuck behind the Lib Dems.”
You: “OMG, I think she wants us to follow her. She says Dave’s in real trouble”
Me: “I think she wants us to go to the polling station”
Or more likely scenario:
Lassie: “Woof, woof, woof”
Me: “Urgh, effing noisy dog.”
You: “Urgh. How did we get home last night?”
Me: “Where’s Dave?”
You: “Did we bring a guy called Dave back?”
Me: “Na, looks like we lost him”
Just blogged my ‘I bet you didn’t know’ list. How many of them did you know? XX
I’m not sure if I was supposed to laugh but you had me howling with this post. Brilliantly written.
CJ xx
Glad you enjoyed it CJ, thanks for the kind comment xx
God – so you mean I’m not the only middle-aged man posing as a mum? Dammit – and I thought I was unique. Have put you up as BMB of the week, btw. Best, PM
£375??! What did you do, run over a traffic warden?
Just love the way your (warped) mind works!!
Brilliant list…so honest and revealing ;). Very glad you were nimble on your feet as a child and managed to survive putting your life on the line in an effort to meet the GXM…
Oh, just came over here to tag you for this meme and you’ve already done it. Wanted to say hello to a fellow Oxon dweller too and congrats on BMB Blogger of the week. x
Pants with names (great name btw) thanks for your message.
Nicola: Who you callin’ warped? This is nothing, you should meet my friends.
Knackered Mother (another top name): While it may be true that I did run someone over many years ago when I parked on the pavement and ran into the off license. Saying it was a Traffic Warden is just heresay. We will never know if it was one or not. I didn’t see the person at all, that’s why I drove off with my bottle of vodka without asking why he was holding his foot.
Potty Mummy – what can I say? Thank you very much for putting this as BMB blog of the week – I feel humbled, it’s a shock and I never expected it. I’d like to thank everyone who knows me, my mum, my very special three children, the “oh my god” children, Lal for fixing my computer, Talk Talk for providing my broadband, Freecycle for providing my dishwasher, (this goes on and on – to infinity and beyond……) xxxx
When I first read this as you get up and mediate every night, ughhhh, I think I need more sleep. Thansk for doing the meme, very enlightening.
Thanks for tagging me MM. And I do mediate all day with three kids