The End of The World

16 April, 2020

You think Corono shut-down is bad? I just found out the world ends in April 2029.

I happened be rambling across t’internet, when I discovered, Tom Horn, on Youtube.  Unfortunately, Tom died, he floated down the tunnel toward the light (yay), when he reached the light Jesus said “No amigo”, and baseball-batted his tiny ball of soul-light right out of the Heaven, straight back down to earth.  Heart-breaking but true.  Unbeknown to Tom, he returned with the power to see into the future.  He only gets to see horrible things, nothing cool he can bet on and win big bucks.  And he has seen, amongst other things, the end of the world – da. da. daaa!

Tom sat bolt upright in the mortuary, two weeks after he died and scared the Pathologist, (Quincy MD), so badly he dropped dead, right there, in his own mortuary.  Tom quickly swapped clothes with him and drove home.   (I might have embellished this a bit….) 

Then he started having “visions” of the bad shit in the future and some of his predictions have come true, he realised he’d been blessed by the Holy Spirit.  I say it’s one of three things;  1.  Hypoxic brain injury (oxygen starvation).  2.  Alien abduction, or, 3. Just plain ole, being “possessed”.   I can’t tell you a lot about his predictions, because I have the attention span of a gnat, so I watched his prophesies on Youtube, constantly clicking through on the fast forward bar.  But he did talk about seeing the end of the world.  (It’s on April 13th, 2029, if you want to put it in your diary).  A giant asteroid hits us, it’s called the “Apophis Asteroid” and it’s very well known. 

The thing is about end of the world prophesies, is they’re a bit old skool.  I knew an end of the world predictor once, we worked near each other in Circular Quay, Sydney.  Glamorous eh?  Yep, I was a charity worker collecting for a food kitchen “Excuse me, it’s not a survey!” And he was a madman – so obviously, I befriended him and spent many a lunch hour allowing him to terrify my naive younger self.  His dreaded dooms-day came and went, as did he.  Then, months later, like a Jesus/Phoenix rising, he reappeared.  He had amended the sandwich board he wore, with a new date and used adhesive stickers to update his leaflets.  

Back to Tom.  He says the world will end being hit by asteroid “Apophis” (which is eerily similar to the prediction of Nostradamus); Apophis will have the equivalence of 65,000 Hiroshima bombs and create a bit of an impact (gettit?).  And he is not alone, some major scientist agree and one of them, Nathan Myhrvold has even accused Nasa of a cover-up!  Da-da-daaaa!  Ever heard of Nate?  No? Me either.  He has an award winning cook book called “Modernist Cuisine”.  Cool eh?  He started college at 14, was also the chief technology officer at Microsoft, has 917 patents, is currently building a new type of clean, safe nuclear reactor in China, he’s a prize winning wildlife photographer, goes on paleontological research trips, is also building the world’s most powerful telescope (he is highly critical of the way Nasa measures asteroid dimensions – hey, join the queue buddy), his company owns over 700,000 patents, he later studied under Stephen Hawkins at Cambridge and to top it all, he was in the team who won the World BBQ championship.  Has a second home in Area 51, a small place that used to belong to his parents.  He rents it out on Air B&B, for 35 Vulcan dollars a night.  

Coincidentally, when researching this article, I googled, “over-achievers”.  According to the highly authoratitive “Psychologies Today” magazine, over-achievers commonly “don’t think reasonably, sensibly or rationally.”  I stopped, stunned; do they mean, like me?  Could I too be an over-achiever, like Nate?  I look at my life and decide I’m probably more like Tom – enjoying my own strange version of life where things that happen prove I’m important.  Not, I decide, like the man-on-the-quay; spending my days waiting for it all to end badly.  

If you’re waiting for some insightful end to this piece, it’s not coming – unlike asteroid Apohphis. Da.da.daaa.

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